Written for the Prattler's Nostalgia Issue (Fall 2022), this article is digitally published on the Prattler's online archives on November 26, 2022. Writing by Noa Gudelunas
In this piece, Noa explores her relationship with gender identity, euphoria and shame via childhood memories and a box of pink girl's toys long hidden in a box.
" Before I was born, the doctors misread the ultrasound and thought I was a baby girl. In preparation to have a biological daughter, my mother bought me a load of pink “girl” toys. I remember finding these toys in a box when I was five or six years old. I ran around screaming in joy to see the jackpot I just hit. I didn’t know who they were for or why my parents had them, just that I was happy to brush my imaginary hair with a pink plastic bejeweled brush. At the time I had a buzzcut, but my Little Mermaid fantasy became reality as I brushed my imaginary floating hair with my new dinglehopper. I’m not sure who it was in my family, but someone caught me with the toy. I immediately thought I was doing something wrong and hid the brush as they walked into the room as if it was something I should be embarrassed about. So many of my memories growing up revolve around hiding something I truly enjoyed. "
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